Thursday, July 16, 2009

I've been slacking

Sorry, I know I'm behind on updating here. Well, my family all knows now. It's been interesting to see their reactions. I've also told a good portion of my friends. Now, I kinda want to hide. I love all my family and friends dearly and I'm grateful for their well wishing. However, the questions, and even the concern they show towards me, get overwhelming. I have a good 30 messages on facebook and in my email that all need a response. I've been ignoring them all. So, if you sent me a message, I'm sorry. I will respond eventually. Just not right now.

Otherwise, I've been doing ok. Keep on keeping on. I had a bunch of tests a week ago. So far, the results are looking good. The cancer hasn't spread. It also hasn't shrunk at all but that's ok. Without any treatment, it surely would've spread so that means my treatment is working. We just need to fine tune it so it works a little better. :)

I'm on vacation next week and going to Boston to see Rent and some friends out there. I can't even express to you how excited I am. I've seen Rent many a time live (and countless times on DVD). But, there's just something special about seeing it live. My friend Rachel is meeting me in Boston too. Rachel used to be one of my closest friends. Her and I lost touch due to a series of events that don't need to be talked about. In retrospect, it all seems so trivial. We were able to pick up right where we left off though which I think is amazing. I'm thrilled to have her in my life again. I'm also ecstatic to get to share Rent with her. She's a fan of the musical too. I don't know if she's ever seen it live though. If not, she's in for a real treat with this company! The cast is amazing, they give 150% every night.

I also get to see my friend Michael while in Boston. I met him on a Rent forum a couple months back and he's been there for me a lot in the time I've known him. He's listened to me rant about my illness, he's listened to me rave about Rent, he offers his words of encouragement when I'm having a bad day and also knows when to just keep his mouth shut and let me talk. I truly am blessed to have met him. His boyfriend is in the Rent cast so he travels to a good number of tour stops himself.

My roommate has also been amazing with what I'm going through. I know I've not been easy to deal with. I have my moments of severe depression. Wondering what my future holds or if I even have a future. He's still learning how to best react when I'm having those times but he does a pretty darn good job most of the time.

To sum this up. I'm doing ok. Getting by. My family has been great and my friends all the more awesome.

My brain is kinda foggy right now. Unfortunately, it usually is. Which leads me to the link I'm going to leave you with. I advise everyone to read the article posted after this link. It's extremely well written and explains very well what people going through chemo have to deal with. This is a side effect of chemo not often talked about yet it's the hardest side effect to cope with, in my opinion.

“Through the Fog” (Katie Brennan)
That link apparently doesn't work anymore, so here's another link for the piece Katie wrote. 


  1. This is a great article! This is exactly what my mother experienced when she was going through her chemo treatments. She couldn't explain what she was going through, but knew that she was somehow different. It took 2 years for her fog to lift. She has been a cancer survivor for over 20 years and she still recalls that time of her life as the living nightmare. Thanks for expressing this brainfog so well.

  2. It wasn't me that wrote the article. It was Katie Brennan. But yes, it is a phenomenal explanation for sure.